Hello all,
I wanted to give you a bit of background into why I am supporting Tiny Lives Trust.
My little girl was born on 4th August 2014. My due date was 14th September 2014.
I started having twinges on the morning of 3rd and after a phone call with the maternity assessment unit, we headed up just to be checked over. I got hooked up to a monitor and told that Islay was ok and happy moving about. I was kept on the unit for a few hours because my pain was still there on and off and they wanted to monitor me. By mid afternoon (bearing in mind we had gone up just before 8am) I was getting fed up and tired. I hadn't eaten anything and so they suggested that we went to the cafe (if anyone knows the RVI they will know that the main cafe area is at the other end of the hospital.. a good 7-8 mins walk away.)
We sat down and had some food and I felt better although the twinges were still very much there.. and when we went to leave.. the most horrifically embarrassing thing happened.. my waters broke!! Now I (naively) thought that it was quite a discrete type 'oops did i just pee or was that my waters' type affair.. well.. let me tell u.. i knew.. i REALLY knew.. I waddled swiftly to the loos and hid for a while.. leaving poor Gordon for dust contemplating what we were going to do and how i was going to get back to the ward.
The plan was set.. we would run (I say that.. i could run even less when i was pregnant..) and try to get back there ASAP. Islay, however, decided that this was not the best option and so during our mad dash.. my waters just kept coming.. to the extent that i had to stop again at x-ray and run into their loos and shouted to Gordon 'I can't keep going' ha ha
He told the lady in x-ray that my waters had broken etc and she said and i quote 'eeee... this is x-ray pet, not maternity.'... like we needed reminding.. luckily for all of us.. someone got a porter with a bed and wheeled me back to the ward area.. I was scanned and told that she was head down and that they struggled to tell me her estimated weight because of her position. I was given a steroid injection in the leg.. the most weird and horrible feeling.. to try and help to develop Islay's lungs if she was born.
The doctors told me that they hoped that i would stop contracting and could be sent home.. the horror on my face i think was evident from space.. to me.. being taught everything i knew.. having watched 'One Born Every Minute' meant that I thought (and still think) that when your waters break, there isn't any protection around the baby.. his plan was to give me antibiotic injections and steroids everyday for 2 weeks and scan me to check that she was happy... the thought of this filled me with as much dread as the labour itself.
I was admitted onto the antenatal ward and told that i would be monitored.. the nurses were lovely but the doctor who was on duty overnight was very poor and just kept telling me that i wasn't in labour.. even though I was having pains.. I kept being asked the question 'are u having contractions'.. my response was always the same 'umm.. i mean.. i have never been through this before but i think so..it hurts..'
This went on all through the night and I can honestly say that i didn't sleep.. i paced the ward.. constantly asked the staff for pain relief although i didn't get any.. and kept having Islay monitored.. my window was facing into the ward courtyard and straight across from my window was an active ward where I could see nurses moving around a lot.. it was the middle of the night and pitch black everywhere else apart from these bright blue neon type lights.. i didn't know at the time what these were and i spent many hours staring out of this window through that night.. I later realised that i was looking into the special care baby unit not knowing at the time that my little bear would be in there with those lovely nurses who work hard through the night and under one of those blue neon lights in less than 48 hours.
In the morning, Gordon, hubby, came onto the ward for a visit on his way to work, dressed in his 3-piece suit.. it was only then that they decided that I was in labour and 6cm dilated.. this is where the fun began and we went round to the labour and delivery suite..
From there I had hours of contractions and gas and air as relief.. I couldn't have diamorphine because I have epilepsy and it can trigger it and I couldn't have that perfect water birth experience with it being high risk.. the hours passed without much notice and even when I was fully dilated... the doctor said that she wanted me to wait another hour before pushing so that Islay's head could come down further.. to my horror!! I thought I was going to be having her and then yet another hour to wait..
Incidentally.. I thought I would be one of those dramatic telly-esque ladies who screamed during labour and told their partners how awful they were to be getting into this situation.. lol.. instead I was completely insular.. probably through exhaustion, overwhelming pain and shock from being in labour and so sat very quietly whilst the midwife made Gordon tea and toast!! ha ha
My contractions decided to slow down when I started pushing and so the doc decided that I needed a drug to increase my contractions.. however, unfortunately.. Islay didn't like that and her heart rate started dropping.. and so.. without delay and too much stress from the doctors I was taken into theatre to have Islay. I had no idea what was happening although I had (thank goodness) been to the best antenatal classes where our teacher Linzy demonstrated what would happen in theatre and who would likely be present.. there really is a lot of people involved!!
Gordon told me afterwards that we were warned that Islay may not come out breathing or do the typical 'first cry' but I can't remember this.. I think I blocked out all of this and was in so much pain I don't recall it at all. He must have been really scared at this point..
Back to it.. within about half an hour of being in theatre.. Islay was born.. she did take her first breath.. wasn't purple and wasn't floppy.. in fact she was like a little tomato!! She was whipped away as soon as she was born to be checked by the neonatal team and ensure that she was breathing ok.. she was also taken away to the special care baby unit for an antibiotic injection and the first time I saw her she had an NG tube in.. not what you imagine and we didn't get the typical skin to skin time.. in fact none of it was typical.. which is a real shame!
That first night was a blur.. Gordon was told that he couldn't stay on the unit with me and the nurses expected Islay to 'just latch on' and me to know how to do it.. which was just not the case.. they kept saying.. 'oh she's prob just tired and too little'.. 'just try her at the breast'.. so blase.. cue 'mummy mini meltdown' when it wasn't a successful experience.. also being thrust into learning how to feed by NG on top and then actually know what to do with a baby.. on my own.. all very scary.. THEN on top of that she was being sick.. she was throwing up her milk after every feed without fail..
Initially.. the docs and nurses said that it was probably ok and might just be her tummy adapting with it being immature.. but then as the next day went on.. and she hadn't pooed (this is supposed to happen within 24 hours of a baby being born) we got visited more and more by doctors.. then at around 9 or 10pm on 4th August.. a doctor came in to see me.. Gordon had been sent home at 8pm and he decided that Islay was going to be taken into the special care baby unit.. now I say that in such a matter of fact way.. but when I was told.. it was as though my world was falling apart.. I know that others go through worse.. but for me.. this was my worst.. and then just to top it off.. the doctor said these words to me that I will never forget.. 'Do you want to just say goodbye to her?'.. I was like.. 'what??? are u kidding?? what are u trying to say' You can only imagine what was running through my mind.. I went round to the unit with her and immediately phoned Gordon to tell him who raced up on his motorbike to come and see us.. and so began our journey in the Special Care Baby Unit..
Part II coming next for our experiences in SCBU...
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